Friday, August 10, 2007

I Feel Manly Just Thinking About It

I admit I'm not very up on pet-enhancement technologies, and this new news to me may be old news to some, but did you know you can get your neutered dog a fake set of balls?

That's right - according to CTI Neuticals, a Missouri-based company, the "unethical, unnatural" removal of a God-given body part leaves your male dog looking "unwhole," therefore warranting the implantation of a couple of polypropylene testicals for only $73 a pair! (Or, for a more natural look and feel, silicon balls for a mere $159.)

Because, of course, a neutered dog can sense that his cojones have been snipped. "Wouldn't a pet know if a familiar body part was missing?" the people at Neuticals assert. "Wouldn't he know if his foot was cut off? Of course he would - its [sic] only common sense."

Damn right. And I'm sure he won't feel weird about a couple of giant silicon gel caps stuffed inside his scrotum. Because it's more natural-looking. As God intended.

All kidding aside, if this implant convinces more people to neuter their dogs, I'm all for it.


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