Saturday, May 02, 2009

And Now, a Message From Our Medieval Sponsor

What is up with the ads for Solid Gold pet food? I mean, seriously? They are really bizarre. Take this one in Bark magazine with the headline, "Don't Tickle the Dragon" which is not so odd considering it's an ad for Dragonette biscuits, but dragons seem to be beside the point in this particular Solid Gold fact sheet. Take this bit of information:
"The oldest long-living man on record supposedly lived to be 152 years old in England during the reign of King Charles I. The man claimed that he ate oatmeal everyday of his life. As a guest of the king, he was given meat to eat. He was dead within two weeks. Interesting!"
Or this:
"We included peppermint to settle the stomach and clear up bad bacteria in the stomach. Peppermint is also used for IBS and diarrhea. We added green tea for its antioxidant properties. Oriental cultures credit long life to green tea."
Orientals? The ad also cites Life Extension Magazine as a source, and ends with:
"The Chinese have an interesting saying: 'Don't tickle the Dragon'. Not sure what it means!"
I'm thinking someone's crazy aunt insisted on writing these ads – an aunt related to someone in the company because they keep showing up in print. And what makes the situation even more curious is that Solid Gold is a fairly reputable company whose products can be found in higher-end dog-food stores. It's not like they're an "underground" brand. Weird.

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